is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
