Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
