it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
