Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
