it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
3pm strippers are depressing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
