I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
