...so i touched it.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
