Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
