sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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