omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
NoShamevember. You game?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
