i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
