oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
