rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
