You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
