So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
