Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
