walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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