New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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