NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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