my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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