been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
