We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
