I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
