how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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