Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
40s are totally the cure
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
