your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's blow job season.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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