Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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