Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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