i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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