I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
