She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
