I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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