I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it's not cheating when I paid for it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
