i don't like sucking hair
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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