thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
