Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
