I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
