I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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