she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
