hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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