ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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