I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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