My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
