12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize