Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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