I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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