you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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