just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
