she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
