i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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